


Happily Ever After

by orphan_account



Category: Shrek (Movies), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Alpha Kishibe Rohan, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Cheating, Crack, Crack Relationships, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Infidelity, Kishibe Rohan is a Mess, M/M, Mpreg, Nesting, Omega Shrek, Please Don't Take This Seriously, Rohan is a bitch who only wears gucci
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:40:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27753232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: All of my fills for Shrohan Week 2020! This was written as a crackfic/ creative writing exercise and not intended to be taken seriously.
Relationships: Kishibe Rohan/Shrek (Shrek)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	1. Day 1: Swamp

When his new boyfriend invited him over for the first time, Rohan was definitely not expecting a wooden shack in the middle of a swamp. Shrek had cautioned that his house couldn’t compare to Rohan’s, but Rohan was at least expecting a real house.

His poor red sports car is covered in mud and dirt, it was a mistake to take it through the car wash yesterday. Now he’ll have to go through again on his way home, what an annoyance.

As Rohan steps out of the car, his Italian leather shoes sink into the mud. He should’ve known that wearing nice shoes to impress Shrek was a mistake, now they’re ruined. 

Slowly making his way to the door, Rohan tries not to ruin his shoes further, and gingerly knocks on the wooden door, calling out. “Shrek? It’s Rohan.”

The door bursts open, and a large green figure appears. Rohan is enveloped in a hug, feeling the scratchy fabric of Shrek’s shirt pressed against him, and Shrek’s seductive odor of onions and swamp lingers in the air. 

Rohan has finally convinced his boyfriend to bathe with water instead of mud, and he can tell the difference. Shrek’s gorgeous green skin gleams, no longer caked in old mud, and his lovely odor is even better.

Shrek lets go off him, and Rohan brushes some stray dirt off of his crop top. No matter how often Shrek bathes or changes his clothes, he always seems to have some sort of aura of uncleanliness around him, like a portable swamp.

“I missed you.” Rohan admits, letting a small shred of his pride die. He’s never had a relationship like this, where he’s let himself be so vulnerable with his partner, but Shrek is special.

“I missed you too, baby.” Shrek responds with a wide smile, patting Rohan on the back so hard that he almost falls over. Rohan is loath to admit it, but he enjoys this new pet name.

He tries to look over Shrek’s shoulder to see the inside of his home, but the ogre’s figure is too large and takes up most of the doorframe. Rohan tries to brace himself for disappointment. Shrek’s swamp shack will be nothing compared to his tastefully designed home, full of only the most expensive furniture, which never fails to awe his guests.

“Come on in. I know it’s not much, but the swamp has always been home.” Shrek steps aside and ushers his boyfriend inside. Rohan is sure he can handle whatever is inside. He’s a strong, independent mangaka who won’t judge his partner for living in squalor.

As soon as he steps inside, Rohan faints.

His eyes take in dirt floors and walls, rough wooden furniture that looks like Shrek made it himself, dead flowers on the kitchen table, candles instead of any sort of electric lighting, and Rohan proceeds to pass out to spare himself from any further psychic damage.

He wakes up sitting in one of the chairs at the table, and Rohan is reasonably sure he has a splinter in his ass. Unique, handmade furniture is all the rage at the moment, but he doubts that all the design magazines he reads had chairs handcrafted out of swamp logs by a clumsy ogre in mind. Why didn’t Shrek pay some snooty artisan thousands of dollars for a single, vaguely uncomfortable chair like he’s supposed to do?

“Are you okay, baby?” Shrek asks with obvious concern. One of his gigantic hands settles on Rohan’s thin shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. Rohan leans into the touch and tries to focus only on Shrek so he doesn’t knock himself out again.

“I’m fine. I was just struck by how….” Rohan fishes about for a description of Shrek’s house that isn’t a total lie, but that won’t be rude. “.... comfortable it looks! Did you make this chair yourself?”

Shrek looks surprised at the praise as he nods. “I did, when I first moved in. But are you sure you like it? I know you’re not used to this.”

“I do like it!” Rohan lies through his teeth. “It’s very…. cottagecore.” Shrek’s house is very far away from the meticulously curated pictures of charming little cottages in the woods posted on social media, and is more of a shack than a cottage, but Rohan is adept at laying on the false flattery.

“I’m glad. Should I show you the bedroom next?” Rohan always craves Shrek’s thick ogre cock, but he shudders to think about what sort of bed they’ll be having sex on. He’s allergic to any sheets that aren’t 100% pure Egyptian cotton, but the odds of Shrek using such high quality sheets are infinitesimal. But this won’t be the first time he’s risked pain for some good dick.

Rohan flutters his eyelashes up at Shrek. “That sounds wonderful. Why don’t we go look at the bed? We can test how sturdy it is.”

The primal hunger in Shrek’s eyes makes it clear that he agrees with Rohan’s suggestion, and he quickly leads the mangaka to the bedroom. Rohan has to steel himself for whatever will be inside, but Shrek’s luscious body will soon be on display to distract him.

It will take time, but Rohan is sure he can get used to this. He’s dated too many men to count, but Shrek is special. Rohan’s feelings for him are deeper than for anyone else he’s ever dated. To him, Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if anyone wanted some hot Shrek on Rohan sex, but I'm not strong enough to write that on day one. If some vengeful god doesn't strike me down for writing this, I'll write some smut later in the week because why the fuck not, might as well go all in for this ship.
> 
> I'm also really sorry for the blasphemous words I ended this chapter on.


	2. Day 2: Omegaverse

Rohan silently mourns his favorite Gucci shirt as Shrek adds it to the nest, knowing the fabric will absorb the ogre’s thick musk and make it unwearable in public, but he bites his tongue and forces himself not to protest.

Shrek is pregnant with their child, and Rohan has to be accommodating. For once, Rohan Kishibe is not being his normal, high-maintenance, demanding self, which is an absolute miracle. Someone should tell the press how much of a perfect alpha he is.

After several more pieces of Rohan’s designer wardrobe are added to the growing nest, Shrek deems it perfect. The nest takes up most of Rohan’s guest room, large enough to accommodate an ogre and his human mate.

Shrek climbs right in, being careful of his stomach. Although he’s currently four months pregnant, Rohan doesn’t think the ogre looks much different. Shrek’s pregnant stomach looks the same as his usual beer belly. But their child first started kicking a few days ago, so Shrek is being even more cautious.

Nuzzling into the nest, Shrek looks deliriously happy. He turns back to smile at Rohan and motion for him to join the omega in the nest. Rohan is incapable of saying no to Shrek in this state, so he smiles and gets in.

Rohan has to admit that his expensive clothing makes a very fine nest. It’s comfortable and warm, and Rohan enjoys it even more when he’s wrapped in Shrek’s arms. Having an omega bigger than him took some getting used to in the beginning, but he’s since grown used to it.

When Shrek had shyly asked if they could start trying for children a few days before his heat, Rohan had first assumed that he had misheard his sexy green lover. Did Shrek really think that Rohan would be a good father? The alpha had never been very loving and patient. He didn’t think that he had what it took to be the dad their child deserved.

The great Rohan Kishibe, the most perfect alpha in the world, was afraid to have children. But how could he admit that to Shrek and refuse his earnest dream to be a parent? So Rohan shakily nodded and told Shrek that they could try for children.

He had hoped that it would take a few heats for Shrek to become pregnant, that he would have some time to come to terms with having a kid. Unfortunately, Shrek got pregnant immediately. Curse his ogre fertility, it had ruined Rohan’s plan to stall for a bit as he tried to figure out how to be a good parent.

But when Shrek revealed the positive pregnancy test, Rohan’s primary emotion wasn’t fear (although it should have been, considering the fact that he impregnated an ogre). He was certainly afraid, but the sudden rush of happiness surprised him. He was excited to have a child with his mate.

Rohan has slowly adjusted to living with a pregnant ogre, and the idea of being a father. Although he won’t be perfect, he’ll do his best. 

While he’s been lost in his thoughts, Shrek has fallen asleep, his deep, rumbling snores loud enough to wake the dead. Rohan had to wear earplugs when they first moved in together, but he’s grown used to Shrek’s deafening snores.

Rohan gently rubs his omega’s stomach, feeling the half-human, half-ogre abomination inside kick. He silently promises to their spawn that he’ll be the best father he can possibly be. Rohan Kishibe always tries his best at everything, and parenthood is no exception.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter probably isn't as funny as the last one, because I was tired and I ended up rewriting part of my Kakyoin body worship fill, so I kept this fill short so I didn't have to stay up even longer writing. I promise tomorrow's fill will be funny, I already have it planned out.
> 
> I really want someone to draw Shrek and Rohan's abomination of a child but it might blind me.


	3. Day 3: Infidelity

Shrek was supposed to be away for the entire day, visiting Donkey, Dragon, and their children. The weird mutant babies breathed fire on Rohan’s new sketchbook last time he visited with Shrek, and he’s vowed not to stay away until they’ve grown up enough to respect personal property. 

As soon as Shrek leaves, Rohan texts Farquaad, telling his sexy lover to come over. He then texts his _other_ sexy lover, Prince Charming. Rohan can’t be basic and cheat on his boyfriend with only one man, he has to be hooking up with two other men on the side. He would add a third, but Pinocchio won’t respond to any of his increasingly thirsty texts.

Once both men confirm that they’ll be at Rohan’s house shortly, he now has to figure out what to wear. It needs to be whorish, yet tasteful. A style that he’s the self-professed master of.

He finally settles on designer clothing that shows off a large amount of skin, and costs enough to feed several orphans for a year. Rohan then spends twenty minutes deciding which shade to wear out of the one hundred shades of green lipstick he owns.

The doorbell rings, and Rohan rushes to answer the door. He poses seductively against the door frame and gives his best bedroom eyes. But no one is there. Rohan then looks down, and sees the short, captivating figure of Lord Farquaad.

“Hello, Maximus.” Rohan purrs, using his lover’s first name. Although the self-absorbed royal often insists upon being called by his title of Lord Farquaad in bed, he permits the mangaka to use his first name on occasion.

“Is your odious boyfriend gone?” Farquaad asks, sniffing the air for Shrek’s distinctive scent. He’s always hated Shrek due to their history, and refuses to have anything to do with the ogre.

“Of course he is. He doesn’t know about us. Prince Charming should be here in a minute.” Rohan adjusts his headband, winking at Farquaad.

Farquaad nods, grabbing the stool always left out for him so he can reach high enough to give Rohan a kiss. Rohan still has to bend down, but with the stool he doesn’t have to get on his knees to be the right height to be kissed.

Prince Charming arrives a few minutes later, and Rohan takes the same seductive pose as he opens the door. “Welcome, Charming.” he greets his other lover with.

Thankfully, Charming doesn’t need the aid of a stool to give Rohan a kiss, and he does so as Rohan motions both men towards the bedroom.

A few minutes later, both Farquaad and Charming are covered in green lipstick marks, and all of them are in various states of undress. Rohan misses the sound of the door opening, and Shrek’s call for him.

He’s busy enjoying the way both of his lovers are kissing his neck, but when Rohan looks up, he’s met with Shrek’s devastated expression as the ogre takes in the sight of the love of his life hooking up with two other men, men he knows.

Rohan shoves Farquaad and Charming away from him and jumps out of bed. “Shrek! It isn’t what it looks like!”

Shrek gazes sadly at him. “It isn’t? Because it looks like you’re cheating on me with two of my worst enemies. I trusted you.”

“You can trust me! It was just a mistake! They don’t mean anything to me, not like you do!” He wails, reaching for Shrek’s hand. But his boyfriend pulls back.

Charming speaks up. “So am I still going to get laid, or should I leave?” He asks, still in only his pants and covered in green lipstick.

“GET OUT!” Shrek roars at both men. Rohan usually swoons at his sexy ogre roar, but right now he’s too upset to think about Shrek’s utter perfection.

Farquaad and Charming both rush to gather their clothes and escape the house before Shrek uses his freakish ogre strength to bash their heads in. Rohan is left all alone with Shrek, wondering how he can possibly salvage this.

Shrek begins to turn to leave, and Rohan drops to his knees and clutches at the ragged edge of Shrek’s shirt. “Shrek, don’t leave me! I love you! I’d be nothing without you!” He begins to cry. Rohan is never ugly, even when he cries. Surely his beautiful tears will win over Shrek.

“Rohan, I can’t. I’m sorry. This is the end. I can’t look at you the same.” Shrek tells him sadly. He pulls Rohan’s hands off his shirt, almost ripping it in the process.

“No! You’re my soulmate, I can’t live without you!” Rohan cries as Shrek looks down at him. He’s being a diva, but he doesn’t care. His life is meaningless without Shrek in it.

“Goodbye, Rohan.” Shrek tells him softly in a voice full of sorrow. 

Rohan can only watch as he loses the best thing that ever happened to him, as his soulmate walks out of his life forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to make Rohan super overdramatic and tearfully begging Shrek not to leave him to make up for the last fill being short. My next few chapters might be late, since I have finals coming up soon and need to focus on those.


End file.
